Q and A with your favorite Couple!
by SilverChocolate
Summary: Wow! MORE FUNNY QUESTIONS (and answers)!This is a Q and A session with HELGA and ARNOLD cuz they won the VENUS magazine's COUPLE OF THE YEAR (more details inside)...reader/writer interaction!
1. The beginning

Quick little thing I decided to do… ASK HELGA AND ARNOLD! Whoo…*cough*  

Yeah…

Remember in The Real Thing, Helga was working for Venus magazine. Well, Venus magazine has chosen Helga and Arnold as their "Couple of the Year". Arnold being the rich, very well-known executive CEO of his popular advertising company; and Helga being the famous poet who works for the magazine. 

This is your chance to ask them your questions, and get some of their answers. You can ask them ANYTHING. 

Let's see if you all want to play along with this. 

Or else I'll just drop it. =) 

DISCLAIMER: (I always forget these) I do NOT own HEY ARNOLD! or any of his friends.  

Here at VENUS Magazine, we like to get you involved in current affairs. Updated health tips to make your life satisfying (page 104), monthly bedside astrologers (page 100), celebrity candid photos (page 75), info on the stars (page 24) and more (please consult Table of Contents)! 

And as you all know, we always have our annual COUPLE OF THE YEAR feature where we here at VENUS Magazine choose a very well known couple whose love story has touched us all and who have shown most promise and most impact on our lives. We have a ballot enclosed so you all can vote for who YOU the READER thinks is the 

COUPLE OF THE YEAR! The results will be posted up in the next issue. 

Now it's the time you've ALL been waiting for! The results for COUPLE OF THE YEAR have been counted. It has been a tough and close race. We here at VENUS Magazine are pleased to announce that…

 Helga Pataki and Arnold ~smudge~ have been chosen as your COUPLE OF THE YEAR with an over-whelming 95%! 

Helga Pataki has published two books filled with her famous poetry which have been featured in many pieces of literature and has won the Emily Dickens Award numerous amounts of times. She is also working for VENUS MAGAZINE! 

Arnold ~smudge~ owns the NY Knicks and is the Executive CEO of Marcus and Bradely Advertising. The nation-wide known company which advertises almost everything from Aunt Amy's Apples to Yahoo! soda. 

Through thick and thin, through broken hearts and forgotten love…these two have conquered it all! (Of course, we would explain their love story but there's already a stupid story out about it…) 

As usual, there will be a reader Q and A for the couple. Ask anything you want!! From what they eat in the morning to what they don't wear at night! 

Dear Helga,   
  What is Arnold's pet name????//   
      -French Toast 

Dear French Toast,   
  Arnold prefers it if I didn't say his pet name in a popular magazine. But I'll tell you that it starts with S and rhymes with Nookums. I only use it sometimes. Arnold is grumbling. He says Hi.   
  -Helga 

Dear French Toast,  
  Hi this is Arnold. MY PET NAME IS NOT SNOOKUMS!   
  -Arnold. 

Have Fun and write to: 

 914842 Nowhere Street   
PO BOX 2912   
Brooklyn, NY 

or just by clicking the little box on the bottom. 

Remember! Every woman deserves a VENUS! 

A/N: I'm so stupid…LOL. That last remark I mean…Have fun, review with your questions!  

Please excuse my spelling mistakes. =( I'm tired. 


	2. The Questions and Answers

Chap. 2: Some Qs and some As 

****

Thanks for all the letters! We will now be answering your questions! 

A/N to Velvet Chocolate --- of course you can…I'm not holding you back or anything. 

Dear Arnold,  
What is Helga's pet name?  
- Crazy Monkey

Dear Crazy Monkey,   
 Sometimes I call Helga Angel or Princess. But sometimes she can act like a …witch…   
Ow! Helga! Stop hitting me!   
 -Arnold. 

Arnold,   
Whats HELGA's nickname? 

Helga and Arnold,  
What is the most embarrassing thing you two have ever done together? hmm???? 

-That Sock in the Fridge (Tano)  
  
Dear That Sock in the Fridge (Tano),   
 Together, Arnold and I have done a numerous amount of embarassing things together. Some were like at the wedding reception, we had to have our first slow dance together. Naturally, Arnold is very clumsy and as he led me to the center of the floor, he tripped and fell, pulling me down with him! Everyone laughed. Heh…heh…Oh, and we all felt embarassed for Arnold when he tried to play tennis. Man, oh man. He couldn't hit a beachball even with the biggest tennis racket. 

  
 Love,   
   Helga 

Dear Arnold-   
 if you were traveling down the interstate and all of a sudden your bowl of goldfish fell of the table would you dig a hole, buy a furby, or make a potato salad?   
  
Dear Helga- if your house was TP'd during Halloween by undercover flying monkeys what would you do? Free the Animals! FREE THE ANIMALS!!! They will takeover all life on Mars!!! muhahahahahhahahaha!!!!!!!

Thaddeus Gamelthorpe 

Dear Thaddeus Gamelthorpe…  
  Are you on medication? Why would I carry goldfish with me traveling down the interstate? WHY WOULD THERE BE A TABLE IN THE CAR? My answer would be dig a hole. For those poor dead goldfish…  
  -Arnold. 

Dear Curly…  
Monkeys don't fly. But thanks for playing anyway!   
 - Helga 

Dear Arnold and Helga,  
You're story is so incredibly sweet.   
Tell us the truth Arnold, was it ever love at first sight with Helga and if not, what finally turned your attentions to her?  
 ~Mouse  
  
Dear Mouse,  
 I can't say that it was love at first sight with Helga. I mean, way in the beginning when we were preschoolers I thought she was a cute kid with the pink bow and all. But I never could see us together after she started punching everyone and calling me football head, or hair boy…I thought she was an awful person. The last person I'd ever wanted to marry would be Helga. I've always wanted to marry Lila.   
Look what happened.   
I guess during High School she kind of grew on me. Without her insults and stuff, she turned into a much more beautiful person. Heh. She was just so sweet. And when I kissed her for the first time…whoa…it was just like everything fell together.   
 - Arnold. 

Dear Helga and Arnold –   
 Who's better at arm wrestling?   
  -Poison Ivory   
  


Dear Poison Ivory,  
 You have a very pretty name! But anyway, personally, between the two of us, I am MUCH better at arm wrestling than Arnold is. He loses so quickly. Sure, he may seem strong, but really he's not.   
 - Helga 

Poison Ivory -   
 Don't listen to Helga. We've barely arm wrestled before, and anyway I always _let_ her win. That's the sad thing about love. Men have to pretend they're weak.   
 -Arnold 

  
Dear Arnold and Helga,   
Do you have any children,and if not how many do you plan to have?  
- Betsy   
  
Dear Betsy,   
 Currently we do not have any children…yet. We've barely been married for a year and I think we'd like to enjoy being a couple for a longer time. Though, I think I am expecting. Hehe. I plan to have two kids, one boy and one girl. Two girls is icky.   
 - Helga   
Dear Betsy,   
 I agree with Helga. Wait…Helga…you're…?????  
- Arnold 

Dear Helga and Arnold,  
I have six questions…  
1. Where did you go on your honeymoon?  
2. Arnold, what's Helga's best physical feature?  
3. Helga, what's Arnold's best physical feature?  
4. Arnold, what's your favorite outfit Helga wears?  
5. Helga, were you sweet at the wedding, and lightly stuff the wedding cake in his mouth or did you shove it in his face?  
6. What's your house like?   
- WAYAMY27NARF   
  
Dear WAYAMY27NARF,   
 On our honeymoon, Helga and I went to Paris. We flied first class, and stayed there for a week. We danced in the moonlight, stayed in a beautiful four-star hotel. We went site-seeing and had a blast. Picniced in front of the Eiffel Tower and even spoke a little french. Did a little french kissing too. Haha…  
 Helga's best physical feature is her eyes. Once you look into them, you can tell everything about her. They make her so beautiful. I could die looking into her eyes. They always make me feel good.   
 My favorite outfit Helga wears is maybe that one low-cut red dress with spaghetti straps and a long slit on the side. Either that or anytime she wears a white tanktop and boxers. Haha…  
-Arnold  
  
Dear WAYAMY27NARF,   
 Arnold's best physical features are his hands. I love his hands. They're not like other mens'. His are soft and smooth, not coarse and rough. They do things so well…and his chest. Man, he has a very chiseled body…  
 And of course I was very sweet at the wedding! I fed Arnold a little bitty piece of cake, and he lilked it off my fingers. Then I got a bigger piece of cake and let him take a bite and I smeared it on his face. He got mad and smeared the cream on his face on me. So you win some, you lose some.   
 Our house is beautiful. It's big, and beautiful. It was Arnold's house he was planning to live with Lila in. It's just on the outskirts of the city. The garden in the front is so pretty! With roses and petunias, and lilies! There's also a big pine tree which we never would even think of cutting down. Inside, there's marble floor and there are paintings everywhere. We have three fireplaces, four TVs, six rooms, three baths…it's just wonderful. You have to see it to believe it!   
 - Helga 

Dear Arnold-  
Has Helga let you see her nine year old poetry? And how'd u become owner of tons o' stuff?  
 -Bree  
  
Dear Bree -   
 No, Helga has not let me see her nine year old poetry. She says that it's humiliating and she would never ever let me read them. But she says on our one year wedding anniversary, she'll let me read a couple. I've already read her other two poetry books. But oddly enough none of them included the ones from when we were still in PS 118…  
And I became owner of "tons o'stuff" by luck. Sort of. I was in college, and working in the field of law. Then my grandpa tells me his old friend (Harvey Marcus) died and since he and my grandpa were super close, he gave his big advertising company to him (his partner Joe Bradely had retired). I graduated and all, and then began working for the company. Once I was old enough, Grandpa decided to give it to me. So, that's how I became the rich man I am.   
 -Arnold 

Dear Arnold,  
Hi Arnold,here ish some few questions I wanna ask you ^_^.  
1. How did Helga and you met?  
2. Do you think imma annoying? o.o?  
3. Do you enjoy answering these questions from a crazied-author who always totures her favorite characters in her own stories? (Rue[Threads of Fate]: Uh-oh...)  
4. Have you ever eaten sugar carrots before?  
5. Do you like bunnies? (I swear... if you say no...)  
6. So, do you like the number six?  
7. Can you think up a question less than 1 second?  
8. What do you think my IQ ish?  
9. Do you play any kind of instrument?  
10. Can you spell?  
11. Was it love at first sight when you first saw Helga? (seriously... don't lie)  
12. Aren't these dumb questions annoying you?  
13. Snookums, snorting white-out ish bad for you..  
  
- Cherry  
  
P.S. I am NOT dumb and my IQ ish quite high o_o. I'm just sugar-high XD;;;  
  
  
  
Dear Helga,  
  
Did you know, that when you sniff the smarts candies powder, you sneeze like crazy?  
How old are you?  
Do you believe this is my real name, well... it is... Cherry ^_^.  
Do you watch any Japanese Animation kind of shows? (NOT including Dragon Ball Z and Sailor Moon... they are a shame for all cool animes out there.... no offence)  
I can't think of anything to ask... baiiness ^_^.   
-Cherry  

Dear Cherry,   
 Whoa, that's a LOT of questions there…well, anyways…  
1. Helga and I met when we were in preschool. But then again, we fell back in love when we were at our High School reunion.   
2. Uhhh…  
3. I'm always open to questions.   
4. Sugar carrots?   
5. Sure  
6. I prefer 10   
7. Maybe   
8. I have no idea…  
9. the guitar…and the harmonica.   
10. Yeah   
11. There were a couple of sparks…but it took time.   
12. Not really   
13. Oooook….  
 - Arnold 

Dear Cherry,  
 You are quite energetic, aren't you?   
1. Yes, I did know that.   
2. That's normally question I wouldn't be asked…but I'm 30.   
3. It's a cute name, dear.   
4. Um. Not really…sorry. But I just don't.   
 - Helga 

(A/N: I don't really watch Anime either…but, uh, sometimes I watch CCS…and uh my friends are trying to make me watch Love Hina cuz it's my theme anime…) 

To Helga: IS Arnold a snoring sort of person?  
To Arnold: Does Helga act like a Mistress In The Bedroom?

To Helga: Does Arnold rule the house hold, or do you?  
To Arnold: Does Helga have a Nickname? If so, what is it?  
~~~~Signed Velvet Chocolate!!  
  
Velvet Chocolate,  
 Yes, Arnold does snore occasionally. Only if he's dreaming though. And, of course, I rule the household. Just kidding. We rule together.   
 -Helga 

Velvet Chocolate,  
 Helga does sometimes act like a "mistress in the bedroom" haha…and she _does_ have a nickname which I have mentioned before.   
 -Arnold 

A/N…in the next chapter (if I even have one) you can ask questions about…OLD LOVERS. Muahaha…and uh…Yeah. 

Anyways…

If you want, think of more questions! 


	3. MORE Questions and Answers!

Hey man, since I'm so totally bored, I realized that I had a Q and A with Arnold and Helga! So, I figured, Helga and Arnold must answer all your questions! =) I mean, it's only fair. Helga and Arnold are a bit rude this time around. Sorry. 

---

Um if you where yellow and had green hair what would your name be. 

- Beckie

Beckie- 

First of all…I wouldn't be yellow. Second of all, green hair is not my thing. Lastly, check your grammar. 

- Helga 

Dear Arnold,  
  
Hie!! I'm back and I'm disappionted at your answers, Arnold ^_^. You should answer them in COMPLETE SENTENCES *coughcoughhinthintwinkwink* Geez, what *do* you get in your test scores?  
Anyways, these are my questions ^_^. (Dun complain!! ):D!! it's good to ask alot of questions).  
1. Did you know that your life is at stake (spelling?) by any author who can plot anything bad against you? ^_^? (I'll be making a Hey Arnold story soon..... kekekeke XD;;;)  
  


2. Does your hand gets tired when you write answers for the people?   
  
3. Did you know that YOU'RE NOT REAL? And I AM? ^___^? =} heh... anyway, you were first made by dis show named 'Hey Arnold'. BWUAHAHAHAHAH XDD!!!  
  
4. o.o;; uh... don't take this as an offence.  
  
5. If you dropped a bowl of magical pixies in the river and they happen to die of *breathing* too much air, what would you.......  
  
a. Mourn  
b. Ask yourself why magical pixies even exist  
c. go buy a fluffy bunnie instead (I would do that)  
d. Dig a hole and throw rocks in it  
e. Get a new bowl and happen to adapt being a fishy  
f. ask Helga for advice  
g. Make yourself a smoothie  
h. Jump in after those magical pixies.  
  
^_^ thats all for now, thanks and bye!!  
  
  
From the hyper-crazied-author-who-is-obessed-with-drawing-and-mini-stuff,  
  
Cherry.

Dear Cherry,   
 Wow, you're such an active person.   
 1. Wow, really?   
 2. No, my hand doesn't get tired because I'm typing it. 

 3. (no comment)   
 4. (no comment)   
 5. B   
 Sincerely,   
 Arnold 

Dear Helga,  
  
Hi Helga!! How are you? Is your day fine? Is it hailing yet? Anyway here's my questions  
  
1. If Arnold choses choice letter F "Ask Helga for advice" about the bowl Arnold dropped and killed the magical pixies of *breathing* too much air and died. What sort of advice will you give him?  
  
2. If you had a boy and a girl, what will you name them?  
  
3. Did you know that there's this game Threads of Fate and I think it's really really cool ^_^ I wanna name myself Mint!! She's sooo cool (actually... she remind me of you o.o;)  
  
I can't think of anything anymores ^_^, baiiness!!  
  
From,  
Cherry

Dear Cherry,   
 I am fine, thanks. My day has been swell, thanks. No, it's not hailing in the summer.   
1. Umm…I'd tell him to just let it be and hide the pixies in the forest.   
2. I'd name them after Arnold's parents. But if I had _more_ than just one boy and/or one girl…then I'm not sure.  
3. Wow…

- Helga 

My friend Lindsay Cunningham wants to know how you guys got into the TV. "It's so little!" she says. "How do they do that?" And while we're on the subject, how did you get into this tiny little laptop? And how come I can't see you?

 - Poison Ivory. 

To Lindsay Cunningham,   
 We're on TV?! Oh my gosh! WE MUST BE ON SOME NEW FREAK REALITY TV SHOW! Thanks for the warning.   
 - Helga and Arnold. 

Dear Arnold,  
1: Have you ever seen a UFO? (I have)  
2: You got any of them taquitos?  
3: Have you any tolerance for INSANE people? (I'll stop your questions there, in case you don't)  
  
Dear Helga,  
1: Have you ever heard of the freakiness of Sex_With_Tony_Haha? (that's a person... or it used to be)  
2: You are San-TA?  
3: Can I sit in front of your chair and beg for presents?  
  
That's all... For now but you can bet all your cupcakes that I will be back to torment you with the insanity of the GIRHA  
  
Byeness! Pyx: Witchy Paranormal Investigator

Dear Pyx,   
This is Arnold.   
1. No.   
2. No, sorry.   
3. Suure. 

Hi now this is Helga!   
1. No.   
2. What?   
3. …

- Helga and Arnold. 

Helga and Arnold,  
Do you guys like tv? What's your fave tv show?  
Do you like doggies?  
Do you like kitties?  
My kitty's name is Ashley!  
Do you believe in demons?  
Do you know your house is being haunted?  
Neither did I. Okay, time to go onto serious-mode.:  
Helga, is Phoebe still your best friend?  
Arnold, is Gerald still your best friend?  
K, I'm done! Need more SUGAR!!!  
-Dawn Summers

Dawn Summers,  
 Yes, we like TV. We're quite fond of the show FRIENDS. Yes, we like dogs. Actually, Arnold's still quite in love with his pig. Sure, kitties are nice. I don't believe in demons. Neither does Arnold. That's scary. Yes, Phoebe is still my best friend. And Gerald is still Arnold's best friend. 

 - Helga

Dear Arnold-  
  
1. if you were on a plane and all of a sudden a stampede of elephants led by the Undertaker and that 'dude your gettin a dell' guy, how many monkeys do you think you'd be able to get into a barrel?  
  
2. how many socks can you eat in 1 minute?  
  
3. if the british were coming and were armed with fish and frogs how many times were you told to tie your shoes?  
  
4. what color is your nuclear powerpole?  
  
5. are you on some kind of medication? if so- what?  
  
6. peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers under the train while his orange plantation hit him with brass pipes?  
  
7. do you like doggy treats, cause i got to many to eat, i wondering if you might like some?

 - Thaddeus Gamelthorpe. 

Thaddeus – 

1. 15 monkeys. I'm sure of it. 

2. Zero. 

3. Three times. 

4. I don't have one. 

5. No…

6. Huh? 

7. No, thanks. 

- Arnold. 

To Helga:   
Did you ever love Brainy?  
And whatever happened to him?  
  
To Arnold:  
When did you fall out of love with Lila?  
How did you keep yourself from going unsane everytime she said 'Ever so sweet' 'ever so nice' 'ever so wonderful' etc.?

 - horse-girl 

Horse-girl, 

 I never loved Brainy. He scared the heck out of me. Hmm, actually, I don't know what happened to him.   
 -Helga 

Horse Girl, 

 I fell out of love with Lila when I saw Helga again at our reunion. Yep…Actually, I don't think I ever was in love with Lila. I always went insane when she was "ever so"…you know. And I think Brainy went off to marry Gloria. 

 - Arnold. 

Dear Helga,  
What happened to Brainy(I dunno how to spell!)? I KNOW that he loved you. So...what happened? And also...would Arnold get mad at Brainy if he once loved you?  
  
~Fushigi-chan!

Dear Fushigi-chan, 

 WOW all this FASCINATION about BRAINY. (sigh). He went off with Gloria. End of story. No, Arnold's not that kind of person. Heehee. 

 - Helga .

hiyeeeee, s'mee again! i have more, better (or you could call them worse -.-') questions for the "happy couple", hehe  
  
1.) Helga, have you ever loved anybody besides Arnold? and if not, do you ever get sick of Mr. Perfect over there? *points at Arnold* hmm???  
2.) Arnold, how many people had you loved before Helga? hmm?  
3.) Helga, doncha jest wanna smack me for saying HMM all the time? hmm?  
4.) Arnold, will you come away with me, my darling? we could be free from the horrible witch helga, and live happily ever after with out 1 adopted child and 26 iguanas! *cackles* well? hmm? whaddya say, footballhead, sound like a deal?  
5.) Helga, could you please not hurt me, I am a bleeder...  
6.) Arnold, since you like helping people so much, couldya let me borrow some money for a SLURPEE? Im dying here, darling.  
7.) Helga, Have you tolda arnold about the... hehe... statue you made of his used gum in 4th grade?  
8.) Arnold, Could fish survive in coke?  
9.) Helga, you know how there are feeder fish, bred to be fed to larger fish or other things? Well, I was wondering: Do you think cannibals have feeder children, whom, once they are "Ripe" are cooked and devoured like many taquitos?  
10.) Arnold, where DID joe dimaggio go?  
11.) Helga, How many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop?  
12.) Arnold, if someone says they hate you, does that mean they actually love you?  
13.) Helga, how in the world did you manage to keep your hair so stiff like that? You and Arnold musta spent alot o money on hairspray...  
14.) Arnold, why can't i get a boyfriend?  
15.) Helga, what would you say if i agreed to pay you $900 million for the football head there?  
16.)Arnold, how come my mommy says I can't have sugar no more?  
17.) Helga, how old am i?  
18.) Arnold, What's your name? What's the color of the sky? What direction is up? hahaha  
19.) Helga, what's your favorite flavor of underpants?  
20.) Arnold, tighty whities or boxers?  
21.) Helga, where HAVE all the flowers gone?  
22.) Arnold, if E=MC2, how come Chickens can't speak swahili?  
23.) Helga, I really love your socks. Could you send me one?  
24.) Arnold, can i have your lil blue hat?  
25.) Helga, How come orange is a noun and an adjective? and can you conjugate latin verbs?  
26.) hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe... fashizzle is a funny word... oh a question.. um.. donchoo think fashizzle is a funny word?

 - That Sock In The Fridge (Tano) 

Dear Tano,   
 Wow, there are SO MANY questions. Arnold and I will try our best to answer them.   
1. Haha, I've _always_ loved Arnold. But then again, I've loved Brad Pitt too.   
2. Well, I guess I've loved Lila before. But not _truly_. You know? Hey, OUCH! Helga! You _said _you wouldn't pinch me!   
3. …if you wanted me to. 

4. How about…no? 

5. I know where you live…you'd better not sleep alone tonight.   
6. Stop calling me darling! And how do I give money to you?   
7. Heh…heh…SHHH! 

8. I…suppose.   
9. Yeah. I mean, hasn't that happened before? That someone killed someone just to eat them?   
10. He went away.   
11. 1928   
12. Hahaha, I suppose. I guess I'd say that from experience.   
13. Riiiight.   
14. Beats me.   
15. You _sooo_ do not have 900 million dollars. Besides, he's MINE.   
16. Because you abuse it.   
17. I'd say 14.   
18. My name is Arnold. The sky is blue. Up is the opposite of down.   
19. There are no flavored underpants.   
20. Boxer Briefs.   
21. What flowers?   
22. Chickens can't even speak Latin.   
23. …  
24. No.   
25. Orange is both a THING and something DESCRIPTIVE. No, I don't conjugate latin verbs.   
26. Fashizzle. 

- Arnold and Helga.

Last but not least…

Arnold and Helga:  
1) Arnold, does Helga still call you Football-head? And if so does she call you that when she's mad at you or does she use it affectionatly?  
2) Helga, are you still best friends with Phoebe? And did she end up with Tall-Hair Boy (the loser that he is...)?   
3) Do you like walruses or penguins better? (this question is important politicaly speaking)  
4) What's your favorite comic book of all time?  
5) Helga, have you ever had any lesbian tendencies?  
From Under Your Shoe,  
NUTS (Nothing Up This Sleeve) 

NUTS: 

1) Yes, she still calls me Football-Head. She uses it when she's being affectionate. It's like we're in the bed, and she's wearing some really skimpy clothes and she'll be like "Hey, Football Head…" Ouch! Hey…err…Helga's not very happy with me saying that. You don't want to know what she calls me when she's mad. 

2) Yes, I'm still best friends with Phoebe. Well, she _did_ end up with him. 

3) Err…no comment. 

4) Helga likes the Archie comics. I, on the other hand, like Spiderman. Whoo! 

5) No. 

~ Helga and Arnold 

A/N: Hope you enjoyed. I just had to answer all these questions. 

Got milk? 

Okay, you may stop sending in questions. Though, you may leave a review =) =) 

Thanks a lot! 


End file.
